Haven’t been on here in forever but can’t think of anywhere else to bitch and not get judged for everything I am.
I am tired.
I am tired of fighting and crying and praying and hoping and feeling like I have the entire world in my hands and with one single text everything I love is taken from me and I have no control over any of it.
I’m sick of doing things for the most selfish people I could have ended up with, I don’t know why all I do is help the people who deserve it the least. I know I will not be appreciated or get anything in return, if not hurt, and I do it anyway.
I have had worse days, and I have definitely had better days, but the past week has been probably the hardest week of my life.
And I’m fucking done. I’m over it. I would use it as “motivation to be more successful” but I can’t. I cant decide if I would rather laugh at how stupid the people around me that are causing these things to happen are, or if I want to cry because there is nothing I can do.
I know it isn’t karma because I am way nicer than I should be.
Which means I’m being protected from soomething. But if it isn’t meant to be,
why is it the only thing I want?